Ffilm a Theatr

I never wanted to write films. I vividly remember an argument with my friend Yas, an NYC-based filmmaker, about a play I was working on. He heard the story and said "That would make a great film ..." and then I told him where to go, at great length. Ironically, I would turn that idea into a feature film script 15 years later.

We did cover screenplays in our classes and I remember all the boys working on their next Reservoir-Dogs-meets-Citizen-Kane kind of masterpiece, whilst all the girls were trying to give their stage plays as much pathos as they could and I was trying so very hard to write verse like Steven Berkoff, because that man was, after all, "a fucking genius". It turned out that my verse wasn't the problem ... but that, too, is now covered in a screenplay.

I am a profoundly negative person, so writing comedy comes naturally to me. Thus far I have written way more comedies than I have written dramas (And let's be honest: those were comedy-dramas.), but for some reason my dramatic scripts tend to make it into production faster. I used to think I wasn't funny ... as a matter of fact I have been told I wasn't funny. One man told me that my work lacked punchlines and didn't seem to amused that I retorted that this was because I didn't like punchlines. Another told me my work wasn't funny, but witty, and he wanted funny. He then proceeded to show me his work and well, it wasn't witty ... and it wasn't funny, either. And then I turned 40 and decided that my tits and arse were saggy enough by now for me to no longer have to prove a point. And I lived happily ever after.

Seriously, though, thus far several shorts and one and a half feature films of mine have been produced and I provided comedy fodder for the 'two ladies' comedy ensemble as well as the 'shakespeare for dummies' TIE programme with an abridged (and modern) version of the Scottish Play. Currently, I am working on two web series, several audio productions as well as three feature films, two of which are in their project development stage and one is being written.

Everybody's a Writer

Llyfrau

When mentioning those "side projects" I keep talking about in casual conversation, one of the biggest victims of procrastination would be my novel.

Yes, I am writing ... have been writing a book.

Since 2011.

And yes, it has not escaped me that this is a bit sad.

And my daughter never fails to point out the fact that it should have been finished by now. Especially as I came up with a total of 10 pages in the first three years of writing, and I think by 2016 I had hit page 84 ... and then I was stuck again. But the lockdown was going to be my moment to shine ... and then I spent 53 days editing a feature film and I really didn't want to spend more days in the dungeon / AKA my office in the cellar.

It is too bad really, since I rather like my story. I really SHOULD finish it, innit?

The comedic novella will shed some light on independent filmmaking in the north of the republic and should be completed some time this decade. Yay!

Well, that is, if 2020 is already a new decade ... Or would it count as the last year of the last decade ... in which case ... nevermind. I'll get 'round to it.

I will have to point out that it is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

My other book is a non-fiction book that is supposed to help actors get work.

Yeah, 'nuff said.

"You wrote this shit"

Sgriniau

  • Razzmatazz (Post-Production)
  • KiTa (Pre-Production)
  • Stubenhocker (Project Development)
  • Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses? (Project Development)
  • A Little Soul (Project Development)
  • Chick Flick (WT) (Script Development)
  • Hossa! (WT) (Script Development)
  • Insomnambulists (Released)
  • Synchronize (Released)
  • Minus x Minus (For Richer or Poorer) (Released)

Dramâu

  • Zero Gravity (Comedy)
  • Down to Earth (Comedy)
  • Beneath the Surface (Comedy)
  • AIDS is for Queers (TIE)
  • Frog Soup (TIE)
  • The Scottish Play (TIE)
  • Cherries on Top (Variety)
  • Housewives don't Watch Porn (Dinner Comedy)
  • Womanizers don't Drive Station Wagons (Dinner Comedy)
  • Schoolgirls, Nuns and Cellulite (Cabaret)
  • The Elle Night - What a Drag! (Drag Comedy)
  • Flight Attendants don't Like Peanuts (Dinner Comedy)